Sunday, December 21, 2008

Not me! Monday Crying, Yelling & Parking Lot Fights

Welcome to yet another Not me! Monday. It's been a long, crazy, unorganized week for me so forgive me if I'm scattered.
Here's the list, enjoy!
This week I most certainly did not:
  • Again make my daughter cry while brushing her hair like 2 minutes before the bus showed up. We're always early to the bus in the morning, never late! Nor would I ever make my daughter cry, I have more sympathy than that.
  • I did not finally give up on my daughter's hair at that point and say, "Forget it Meme, get out there the bus is coming!" nor did I push her out the door and yell, "Mommy loves you, have a good day!"
  • When I told my husband Thursday night that I was going grocery shopping he did not say, "how about we all go." He would know better, or at least should know better than to suggest such a thing, I mean really ALL of us, to the grocery store!
  • Since I certainly knew better I did not respond to this absurdity with, "Um, yeah if you all want to go, let's go then." That would be CRAZY!
  • During our FAMILY OUTING to the GROCERY STORE! my eldest did not have a total attitude the whole time because she wanted a specific kind of cookie to buy for her Christmas party at school the next day!
  • Nor did I pull her aside to give her a stern warning of "Are you seriously kidding me right now with this attitude?"and then add, "You need to realize that this isn't the Abbie show!" That probably would be above her head and I would know better than to waste my breath. I would, instead, simply tell her to straighten up RIGHT NOW and expect her to do it!
  • To add to the fun times that did not happen, my husband did not come around the corner holding a 40, yes a 40 oz. BEER, and say loudly, "Hey Ape, I found your favorite!" as he proceeded to put it in the cart. He thinks it's so funny to do things that make us look EXTRA trashy!
  • A few aisles later my husband did not then catch on to Abbie's TUDE and decide to finally say very sternly, "You need to straighten up right now, you'll be happy with whatever we get, and when we get home you're going straight to bed!"
  • This in turn did not make her cry to the point of convulsions as if she'd just been totally abused!
  • I did not want to cry at that point because of the "good times" at the grocery store with my perfect, grateful, loving family.
  • Steve and I did not start yelling at a man and woman driving in another car because they tried to cut us off after blatantly watching us wait for about !25 minutes! to simply pull out of that parking spot at Target, during some kind of FREAKY holiday rush like I've never seen.
  • I did not become a gangsta at that point, and start making threats that in reality I'm pretty sure I would never be able to carry out.
  • My son did not then say, "Good thing Grandma's not here, because she would have had that guy out of his car!" (hmmm...I wonder where I get it?)
  • I am not doing this Not me! at 11:30 pm Sunday night! That would be ridiculous!

And these are The Days of Our Lives....Click here for my newest **click**> Not me!

You know what to do by now right? No? Click on the above mr. linky and it'll take you to a place that is full of NOT ME! posts, that are hilarious!


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